Thursday, July 9, 2009

Regarding Letter to Pilots Porn DVD

I am going to post the letter that I wrote since the company has suspended me with pay over it or maybe because of the blog I wrote that letter because to have not said anything would be construed as some sort approval I haven't gotten a straight answer yet and this DVD is beyond disgusting. The rationale for the suspension is that I put Flight 967 in the letter to the pilots which I posted because of the suspension and according to them Googling Flight 967 brings up American Airlines name which is against company policy. However, when you google Flight 967 you get many Flights 967 from many airlines. I asked the other crew members on that flight about what they knew about the DVD and I would have done the same with the pilots if they had been on my next trip. I am not going to remain quiet when somebody puts a porn/threatening DVD in my suitcase. I did not turn it in to the company and wrote the letter instead because I needed to make sure that the issue was addressed.
Is this what this person thinks I like and just where did they get that idea? Or it doesn‘t matter because that‘s what‘s going to happen to me anyway? Is it an invitation, a threat, or simply to make sure I am remain scared and miserable? The reality is that the damage would be to me not to anybody else. I can't afford to do nothing. This is not a single incident. This is part of a pattern of incidents. Every time I think this is done something else happens. I am tired of it. I have tried the 'ignore it' method before and it just doesn't work. I was perfectly polite about it as I always am. I try to have minimal interaction with pilots, as I would with straight male flight attendants if I could avoid them completely, so that nobody can miscontrue simple politeness or friendliness for some sort of invitation. I have had too many experiences where I thought that somebody was okay and then they have made a sexual comment, tried to go home with me or touched me inappropriately for no reason. I have always behaved in the manner I was reared: overly polite and stony-faced even in the face of other's disrespectful words or behavior.

I am posting the letter I put in the pilots' mailboxes because ONE of them turned it over to the Chief Pilot which is perfectly understandable and correct. This has made the company very angry and they have suspended me with pay for writing the letter. I suppose the rapist's version of events is a more convenient one. I apologize if they feel threatened by this letter as that was not my intention. I had no expectation that the person who put the DVD was going to admit to it. My intention was to let it be known that I did not find it funny if whoever put the DVD there thought it was joke and that wouldn't be funny for any woman but especially for one who has been raped and sexually harassed. I wanted to communicate that I am not scared if it was meant as a real or an empty threat. I do take it seriously and I take all safety precautions that I can but I realize that there is just so much I can do.

Another possibility is that this person thought that's what I like and I definitely must let it be known that is not the case. Finally, this person might think I am the woman in that porn DVD, given that it is very short and the dark haired woman's face is only glimpsed. I originally thought this the most likely explanation after googling "airtight" and finding that that is referred to as a "tupperware party",and having had a very strange invitation to a Tupperware party some time ago, and knowing that there are nasty pictures or video of the rape out there. How do I know such pictures or video exists? People have told me, part of the police recording of the phone conversation, it is consistent with the behavior of power rapists, it is consistent with the sexual comments and inappropriate behavior that I have been experiencing since the rape but never experienced before the rape.

THIS IS THE LETTER:
My name is Ana Arguelles. I was FA #4 on Flight [ ] 14 June. You may think I am crazy but I no longer care what anyone thinks they know about me and I feel I must respond to this particular incident. Somebody put a DVD in my suitcase at some point before, during, or after that flight. This DVD contained a pornographic clip of a woman with three men. You may or may not be familiar with my situation. I was drugged and raped by a FA three years ago and I have no memory of a large portion of that night. You can go to my blog at http://surviverape.blogspot.com/ should you wish to know the story in more depth.

I have been told there were nasty pictures of me circulating which can only come from the night I was drugged as I have never and would never allow naked or pornographic pictures to be taken of me. I have had a lot of problems with come-ons and sexual harassment from a lot of pilots and FAs since then to the point that I am afraid for my safety. I am certain there isn’t anybody more unsexy and aloof than I am so I couldn‘t possibly be unintentionally inviting this unwanted attention.

I am guessing that this clip is supposed to either play with my mind and fears or show me what is being passed around and purported to be me. Playing on what I don’t know because my right to memory was stolen from me. Imagine my trepidation when I placed the DVD in the computer when I got home on Tuesday. I sat down and braced myself for the worst. The fear, wondering what I am going to see and just wanting to get it over with and finally just know. I was certainly shocked but I am happy to say it is not me. Sad that I have that doubt. But this says to me that if he has to use a fake tape to terrorize me then whatever he has from that night is not good enough and probably showing me obviously drugged. At least, I know this much more now. I am no longer scared of any of you. So whatever your intention, if it was you, I thank you."


What's at stake here? Why would anyone risk putting a porn DVD in the suitcase of a person whom they do not know? The particular selection of material some pornographic and some creepy corpse and bones is bizarre and threatening. I would definitely worry about the judgment of such a person. A bizarre selection from a bizarre mind(s). My guess that the pilot who reported is not the guilty one. What's the motivation? You must believe that you are incurring no risk even if you get caught nothing will really happen to you (knowledge from prior experience?). My having reported the rape wouldn't be such a big deal if it were as Michel Quilis claims and Michel Quilis is nothing so obviously I think this is a big mess of perpetrators and victims. I am looking forward to the time when the ship starts sinking and the rats start scrambling out. Who is going down with that ship? Who is the fall guy?
I have found out who put the threatening DVD in my suitcase. Corporate security would not get the security tape from the Quito hotel that shows James Laufer putting that DVD in my suitcase and according to them the obvious fingerprints on the DVD cannot be lifted and identified. It has become obvious to me that the solution to the rape problem at this company is to threaten the rape victim and to cover for the rapists so I have kept them both as my insurance. I wonder if James Laufer is "just" a rapist or is he one of my rapists or a messenger boy from corporate security?